Frenemies & Spanx….a deadly combination

I wonder if all ladies have a frenemy in their life?  You know, the lady we love………………… to hate that is!!  We compete with her,  get jealous of her, glow in her weight gain (outwardly showing her sympathy),  bask in her failures, and gloat when our husbands give us a better birthday gift than her husband gave her. 

I have one in my life…she will remain nameless of course.    She is really more of a nemesis………..Actually she is my arch rival. 

Knowing that I had to see Arch Rival this past weekend, I went out to do a little shopping.

Ahhh yes….spanx,  the girdle of the new millennium.  I am no stranger to shapewear.  A few days before Senior Prom, I tried on my dress only to find out that I had gained weight and it was too tight.  My mom ran out to Sears and bought me a girdle.  Trying to pull up a girdle in the bathroom with Lee Press On Nails = Disaster.  Will never admit to one nailtip popping off and reaching into the toilet to get it and put it back on.

So the plan of the day was to wear my spanx and a hat to hide my incoming grey.  I am not ashamed of my grey but I do not want her to see my 3 inch growth.  What would she think?  I don’t have any money to get my roots done?  I have taken a turn for the worst and no longer keep up with my beauty regime?  I have let myself go? No way was I going to give her the right to glow in my supposed hair fashion faux pas.

The Hat:

The only tragedy of the event was that my shirt, unbeknownst to me, kept rising up every time I sat down.  As I am sitting at the table, my peripheral  vision tells me she is walking up behind me and I can feel my shirt not in the proper place revealing my deep dark horrible humiliating secret spanx!!!!  OMGosh !!!!  Internal panic ensues, but there is not a dang thing I can do about it…………………OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH   Shhhhhheeeeeeeetttttttttttttt!!!!!!!

Score:  Marcie: 0 

            Arch Rival: 1




About thefortyexpress

I do not fear getting older, HOWEVER, I am shocked when I see photos of my 40something year old self. I sometimes don't know what to do with all of this. How to merge the young girl I was with the old bag I am now???? What do you get? A hot mess is what you get. Maybe that is what a mid-life crisis is, trying to merge the old with the now.....
This entry was posted in Frenemies, Granny and Gray hair and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Frenemies & Spanx….a deadly combination

  1. Edmund says:

    Spanx for sharing. Everyone has an arch rival and there is nothing to feel bad about! I think, on some level, it is normal and healthy to have that little bit of competition.

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